I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So many bounce houses so little time
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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