Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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