I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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