I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
