come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
