I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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