Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
