I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
