Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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