We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
