if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
