That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
don't judge my taste in strippers
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
