In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
