I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize