you traded sex for a burrito?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize