I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Randomize
