16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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