I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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