Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
