Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
