i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize