I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
