Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
