fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
We need to rekindle our bromance
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
