omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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