im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
