UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
