there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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