just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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