I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
How's work?
Spinning.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
