I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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