Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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