YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
