My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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