Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
