Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
