i barfeds in our rink
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
