drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
