I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
