She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
