there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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