He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
