Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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