i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
