They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Come see our sink grown plant.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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