well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I have tasted many bathrooms
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
