these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
