I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
