I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
