Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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