I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
