Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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