I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
