We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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