then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
