ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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