I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
