and next time when you feel me up, do it right
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
