i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
