There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My vagina just clenched in fear
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
