Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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