im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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