I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize